Long Road Home

It's been just over two weeks since IM Boulder and I haven't really felt a sense of post race depression.  You know that feeling of build up and anticipation and all those months of training and working towards something and then........it's done and gone.  I talked and blogged about it after I completed IM Cozumel.  I definitely felt it after my first event ever being the marathon in Arizona and how I silently sat and wept on the plane as I was waiting to take off and bring me back to Colorado.  I haven't had any of those feelings at all following IM Boulder.  In fact, I went to work the very next morning after the race.  Bright and early at 8am.  I only worked about 4 hours but it was life as I knew it back to normal.  Monday afternoon, I kissed Team Marty goodbye and of they went to the airport and back to NY.  EK Endurance athletes met up for a celebratory dinner and chill time together for the journey we all just took together.

The following day, Tuesday, it was back in the pool for 6:30 am swim with Coach Eric.  It's Tuesday 6:30 (ok 6:45am) that's what we do on Tuesdays.  Except I was the only one in my lane.  No Susan, no Ken.  I looked to the lane next to me......No Elizabeth, No Kenny, No Conrad.  Don't they realize it's Tuesday Morning we always swim together on Tuesday mornings.  No other training for the week planned.  It's Saturday....long ride day around North Boulder County.  Ummmm nope.  Easy ride day on a bike path in Denver instead.

It's Sunday and time for Jonathan's 8:30am swim class.  Class is always packed....not today.  "Marty?"  "Yes, Jonathan" "Why don't you move and swim in this lane today instead?"  "But I never swim in that lane", I insist "I like my lane, I don't need to prove to anyone I've gotten and I'm getting faster"  "I don't have to swim in lane 2 or 3 or whatever"  "5 years from now you can come back and I will still be happily swimming in lane 1.  It's my lane"....."No more.  You should have moved out of this lane a while ago.  Time to leave the nest"..."Ohhhhhhhh, yes sir."

Tuesday....6:30am Swim again (ok 7am swim)  Ken is here!, Elizabeth is here! Kenny is here!  I mess up my garmin and my data.  All is back to normal and right in my world!!  Hot tub afterwards.  So what's next...."Vineman", "Boise 70.3", "Fortaleza, Brazil", "Kona" "British Columbia"  Hmmmm, nothing matches.  "Well, any thoughts to Boulder '15?"  "Nah", "Probably not", "I don't know", "Not doing it"  "Anyone doing Steamboat this weekend?"....Nope....Nah......No.....Hmmmmm.  After the hot tub, I head to the recovery room to sit in the boots........I am alone and the only one in there.

Steamboat Triathlon was fun.  Ran a smart race and actually managed to come in 2nd place in my age group.  Two weeks removed from IM Boulder it felt great to shake the legs out.  There were quite a few Boulder Tri Club members there.  Noticeably missing, for myself at least, were any of my training mates.  We easily could have rocked this race.

"Wanna go for a ride today?" ~ No, I can't I have other plans.
"Gonna hit the recovery boots, anyone in?" ~ Gotta get to work
"Team Dinner this weekend?" ~ Spent too much time away from family training need to be around the house.

It's now Friday...Tomorow is Saturday it means long ride day.  Well, for me at least.

When I trained for Cozumel, I pretty much trained all by myself.  I never rode with a group.  Pretty much long hours in the pool on the trails and treadmill and on the road alone.  That is how I trained for all the marathons I did the previous 3 years.  No big deal that is how it was done.  But IM Boulder was different.  Not only did my training family train for the race but it felt like 1/4 of the community in Boulder was training for the race.  That was something truly special.  All with a common goal.  Of course different individual goals but a common bond or thread as it may be.......To hear Mike Reilly call our names in our hometown. 

Reading the words I have written above one may ask am I now experiencing post race depression?  Nah I still dont think so.  As a matter of fact I hadn't connected the dots to the above actions or occurances I never realized any of this till today.....about 5 minutes ago.  I am not feeling post race depression of the event.  I am feeling several different emotions though. I am slightly sad that we as a training family are all following our own paths.  And what I came to know as regularity in my crazy life will change slightly.  I don't know if Ken will be in the pool on Tuesday explaining for the billionth time what the different between the top of the minute and bottom of the minute is.  I don't know if my long Z2 rides will contain selfies of Esra or Susan and myself.  I don't know if I will spend time attempting to coordinate long runs or rides for the week.  I know, I am more than ok with that.  I am actually thrilled as a training family that we are all following our own paths.  I am soooo incredibly stoked for Kenny and his journey to Kona and for Conrad heading to Canada.  And I enjoy hearing Elizabeth talk about what's next or see Esra light up when she mentions IMNZ.  I'm eagerly waiting to hear what Susan is going to do, where Audra will tear it up next and thrilled that my man Ken is gonna be a dad again.  It allows me to cherish what was IM Boulder that much more and to appreciate each moment in time because no two are truly the same.  Sometimes we as mere mortals forget to appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory.  I try to stay and live the best I can in the moment and feel them in my soul.  So my life will alter and be a little different than before but so much richer for having experienced this journey with a great coach and fantastic teammates.

Lau Tzo is quoted as saying.......

If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

I am so at peace with what all my training family is doing with their lives.  I have eager anticipation for what's next in my journey to IM Fortaleza and all the hours of training and wonderful memories I will have along this Long Road Home.