First Quarter Report: What am I Doing????

I finished the last blog with........        

So without further ado.... What's next??

and In short on the grand scheme of life.....What's Next is to build and develop myself and my spirit, my mind and my body.  To continue to search out and explore and experience life.  To live life in the present and appreciate everything that surrounds me.

That was the last week of December of 2013 and just about rolling into 2014.  We are now coming to the end of the 1st Quarter of the year, 3 months later and where have I been?  Have I held true to my words and desires?  The answer would be yes, no, maybe and a little bit all rolled into one.  I've had some great experiences, fully appreciated life and my surroundings and lived each day like I know how......with deep belly laughs and keeping connected and in the present.  Allowing my soul to grow and feel and love.  It hasn't all been a ball of laughs as I also have felt pain, disappointment and sadness.  At times life has been a roller coaster of emotions and I still don't understand the "why's" of it all but I do know it was all meant to be.  To put me on this path, my journey.

 I started my 2014 racing journey with a return trip to Arizona...where it all began for me in 2011.  And I was...

......there was an unexpected 7 month build up for this trip that made it extra special. Although my knees might not have agreed that road racing just a month after IM Cozumel was the best idea.  I certainly felt some aches and pains.  

Subsequently I cancelled my marathon in New Orleans in February and recently backed out of running Dallas in March.  My knees moved into my head and I now feel like I am running weak.  Meaning not since before I started training for that Arizona Marathon in 2011 have I had so little confidence in my running.  Head games that have now physically hampered me.  I'm working on it though.  Well, what else have I worked on these 3 months???

I worked on getting out on my board and put more days on the hill than I have since I moved to Boulder and celebrated a few Beer:30's Apres Ski.  All along, I have continued to swim and date and bike and renovate the hotel and run and host Full Moon Soirees and see a nutritionist and a trainer for stability/core work.  My physical fitness goals I set for myself was to get in there and make time for myself.   It is my intention to get to a  12% body  composition at 165-170 pounds.  That is what I feel good at and to be satisfied with my own body image.  But almost a 1/4 into the year and these goals did not seem to be occurring.  They are not lofty goals, to me they are very real and achievable.  But I have learned some lessons and realized a few things that I have known all along but forgot.  My diet was shit.  Not meaning I eat bad food but my habits were all over the place.  Eating my first meal at 1pm some days because I get so busy in work.  Or after sitting all day in meetings and leaving work at 7pm to then work out for 2 hours and eat Carbs for dinner at 10pm but be so wired from working out that I wouldn't fall asleep till 2am and then I was up at 5am starting the day all over again.  I went through a bout of sadness and was depressed after Valentines Day Weekend.  I then went and reluctantly put myself back at there on the On line Dating Scene, which I really dreaded.  But how else am I going to find my Miranda?

I leaned on some great friends and had some wonderful conversations with people I care for more then they will ever know.  (Thanks Mom, Hal, Colin, Rachel & Janice)

So mix a ton of stress at work (shorthanded, renovations, flood damage, employee issues, behind budget), with the stress of daily training, with the stress of not sleeping right, with the stress of poor eating habits, with the stress of being a Vegan and needing all the nutritional values for an endurance athlete, the stress of life, the stress of feeling like I am being a bad father to my Ruggerboy, the stress that I am not getting the desired results out of my body, the stress of wondering when/if she will realize I am right here patiently waiting, yadda yadda yadda I can go on and on but we all can to a degree.  All at different levels.  Well, there you have it, I've created another Demon for myself....

The Demon of Stress...Cortisol

Now I typically handle stress pretty damn well but all these stressors along with my bad eating habits and some nutritional deficiencies and it is easy to see why my physical fitness goals are not being reached.  The Demon of Stress, "Cortisol", is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels: interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease... The list goes on and on.   The nutritionist suggested possible Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome.  But that is such a vague/broad term and it is not even clinically proven to exist nor are there any current tests to run to see if this is even the case.  Though the symptoms I am showing certainly can fit into that box.

So I realized that I am in a battle with Demon Cortisol.....and he/she is in the way, preventing me to reach my physical goals that I have set for myself 3+ months ago.  What am I doing about it??  I went in for a check up today, I've sought help of an Nutrionalist, I've hit the Slopes, I've engaged in conversation and sharing, I'm releasing those things in which I can not change at work.  I'm altering my eating habits I had the best Bikram Yoga class yesterday that I had since 2010.  I am finding my way back onto the cushion and meditation and making time for myself and my boy as we ran around Coot Lake on Sunday.  This demon like the ones put before me on my journey to IM Cozumel is real.  But with that knowledge I can respect him/her and get by and step by step go beyond Demon Cortisol to a place where he/she can't touch me.

Its simple really....I've rededicated myself to my training and my eating & sleeping habits and most importantly being happy.  It's just another one of life's experiences along my journey. 

What am I doing???

Last Night with the help of Coach Eric I finalized and tonight I registered for all my training races leading up to my "A" Race Boulder IM in August.

My Spring Summer Race Schedule is as follows:

May 10th ~ BTC Duathlon (Boulder, CO

May 17th  ~ Summer Open Triathlon (Longmont, CO)

May 18th ~  Colfax 1/2 Mary (Denver, CO)

June 1st ~ Boulder Sprint Triathlon (Boulder, CO)

June 8th ~ 1/2 Ironman (Kansas)

July 13 ~ Boulder Peak Olympic Triathlon (Boulder, CO)

August 3rd ~ Iron Man Boulder (Boulder, CO)

I look forward to blogging about this next part of my journey as we prepare for Ironman #2.  And all the silly, wonderful, sad, unknown, exciting experiences that I will encounter along the way.

And in the end, it'll all turn out as it should....as it always does.