I last wrote in here at the end of the 1st Quarter. A far cry from regularity or consistency that I showed while prepping for my 1st Iron Man. Are stories not as funny? Are new experiences not occurring? Do I wonder if people really care about my growth or lack there of and my journey along the way? Or have I just been trying to squeeze so much out of my life that spending time sitting in front on my computer and telling the world about my demons, training stories, and search for my Rinny seem so far down the priority list behind family, friends, work, training, a social life, eating and sleeping. (I'm forgoing sleep at this moment to jot down my thoughts as I have been an insomniac for the last four nights.
But today is an important day so I decided to push this a rung up the ladder over sleep. July 3rd ~ 1 month away from my second Ironman on August 3rd. Folks....this shit is real and fast approaching. There is no tomorrow. So when I look back at my last post and I see where I left off......In short on the grand scheme of life.....What's Next is to build and develop myself and my spirit, my mind and my body. To continue to search out and explore and experience life. To live life in the present and appreciate everything that surrounds me. That is all beautiful and very much who I am as an individual philosophically. But it don't pay the bills and it don't help help you cross the finish line of an IM.
Tonight after another 12+ hour work day and then trying to spend some time with my 4 legged boy before I head out the door for 1.5 on the dreadmill, I was texting back and forth with a dear friend Susan and then I wrote "I'm thinking this ain't gonna work" after a few minutes the reply...."What's not going to work....Your long run? Your relationship with Jessica? Working so many hours? Training?"
......and I stop writing.
Fast forward 6 days as today is now July 9th and this is what I see.......
2490 Rosenthal Marty M45-49 CO US
Here goes that famous expression...."this shit just got real" What a difference 5 days makes. I almost don't even remember what I was writing about my last attempt in here in my sleepless week and that is a big reason why I haven't written in here for the last 3 months. Life has been flying by at lightning speed. The minute I think about sitting down to jot something down it has past and I am on to the next. Such has been my life the last few months. It is difficult to try and explain to folks that aren't in the world of IM training how it can completely take over your life.
I don't even put in the time or effort than many others do. But what I have been fighting and trying to do is have as normal life as I possibly can and not allow IM Training to take over who I am. After all I am not a triathlete, I'm just a guy who swims, bikes and runs.....remember? Handle it all and perhaps forgo sleep. We'll get enough when we are dead right?? So loOOong crazy hours of work, get in my training, have a social life and date, take care of and spend time with my boy and be a good son/family member and friend to those that mean the world to me as well as live life outside spandex, swim jammers and running shorts. I fully comprehend the statement that training for an Ironman is a selfish act. Do we suffer and endure and give up a ton....no question. But we do it for ourselves. At the end of the day or 12 hours or 17 hours when we cross that line it is truly about our journey. Our yards in the pool or watts on the bike. Our splits on the track. Our money, time and equipment. Our lessons. Our sacrifices. Our tears, pain and laughter. Our loved ones. Our missed family and friends. Our guilt. Our missed time. Our mission. We ask others to tolerate or put up with or forgive us, we participate in the name of and raise money for, we do many altruistic things but alone in that room or on that bike at the end of the day along with 3000 other people looking to maul, kick punch swim over us, it is the strength we draw from these incredible sources and the sacrifices others made for us and our journey. It is us alone and our voices and our demons that push us so we may hear Mike speak those sweetest of words.
The answer to my statement just a week ago to a dear training partner and friend Susan would simply be......it all. I walk that tight rope of trying to hold it all together. Knowing if I squeeze my fists too tightly all the grains of sand from my palm will be gone. Nothing will work out and I will have lost it all.
Crazy beautiful thing this Ironman.
But if I can hold on.....if I can eat right, and get enough sleep and enough time on Bella and swim 4000yds each time out and be consistent with my training and improve my time management and get enough therapy so my knees hold up. And collect my thoughts and sit down for 30 minutes to put those words crashing around in my mind on paper to type them in the computer....maybe, just maybe in 24 days 1 hour 12 minute and 5 seconds it'll all make sense and it'll all work out.
......and I stop writing.
Fast forward 6 days as today is now July 9th and this is what I see.......
Here goes that famous expression...."this shit just got real" What a difference 5 days makes. I almost don't even remember what I was writing about my last attempt in here in my sleepless week and that is a big reason why I haven't written in here for the last 3 months. Life has been flying by at lightning speed. The minute I think about sitting down to jot something down it has past and I am on to the next. Such has been my life the last few months. It is difficult to try and explain to folks that aren't in the world of IM training how it can completely take over your life.
I don't even put in the time or effort than many others do. But what I have been fighting and trying to do is have as normal life as I possibly can and not allow IM Training to take over who I am. After all I am not a triathlete, I'm just a guy who swims, bikes and runs.....remember? Handle it all and perhaps forgo sleep. We'll get enough when we are dead right?? So loOOong crazy hours of work, get in my training, have a social life and date, take care of and spend time with my boy and be a good son/family member and friend to those that mean the world to me as well as live life outside spandex, swim jammers and running shorts. I fully comprehend the statement that training for an Ironman is a selfish act. Do we suffer and endure and give up a ton....no question. But we do it for ourselves. At the end of the day or 12 hours or 17 hours when we cross that line it is truly about our journey. Our yards in the pool or watts on the bike. Our splits on the track. Our money, time and equipment. Our lessons. Our sacrifices. Our tears, pain and laughter. Our loved ones. Our missed family and friends. Our guilt. Our missed time. Our mission. We ask others to tolerate or put up with or forgive us, we participate in the name of and raise money for, we do many altruistic things but alone in that room or on that bike at the end of the day along with 3000 other people looking to maul, kick punch swim over us, it is the strength we draw from these incredible sources and the sacrifices others made for us and our journey. It is us alone and our voices and our demons that push us so we may hear Mike speak those sweetest of words.
The answer to my statement just a week ago to a dear training partner and friend Susan would simply be......it all. I walk that tight rope of trying to hold it all together. Knowing if I squeeze my fists too tightly all the grains of sand from my palm will be gone. Nothing will work out and I will have lost it all.
Crazy beautiful thing this Ironman.
But if I can hold on.....if I can eat right, and get enough sleep and enough time on Bella and swim 4000yds each time out and be consistent with my training and improve my time management and get enough therapy so my knees hold up. And collect my thoughts and sit down for 30 minutes to put those words crashing around in my mind on paper to type them in the computer....maybe, just maybe in 24 days 1 hour 12 minute and 5 seconds it'll all make sense and it'll all work out.
#635, #1936, #889, #455, #910, #461, #1602
#2490 says.......
Let's do this!
I am always appreciative on how you just put it out there Marty. Of course it'll work. That's what you do....always make it work.
ReplyDeleteYOU WILL HANG ON SON!....because that is who you are....you are all heart and soul....you successfully accomplish and succeed all that you do....your family and friends adore,support and LOVE you....use our love to be the wind beneath your wings.....Forever with all my love Mom
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